Sorry I took a small break from blogging... but I'm back on the wagon.
About every 28 days I find myself in this super emotional and often reflective position in life... I know, I know... its provoked by hormones, or is it? I've found myself thinking a lot lately about how fast life is passing. Just tonight, as I sifted through Nick's cell phone text conversations, it just further confirmed to me that every day that passes is one day closer to my children walking out of the door into lives of their own. I can say that I THOROUGHLY enjoy the ages of all of the kids right now. I love Nick being in middle school. I love the competitive sports, I love that he is being challenged academically, I love that he is more independent, and I love that he is growing into a man. But on the same token, it scares the crap out of me. Chris teases me often and says that I don't want him to grow up because I don't want a little southern girl coming after him the way I did with Chris. It's true. But, I know that the healthy part of life is that our children grow and mature and become men and women who we are proud not only to have raised... but to know. Each one of my girls is different and special in their own right. I look at them all and I am stunned by their beauty. I'm not quite sure how they all turned out so lovely, but I am thankful that their beauty is not just external but also internal. I am honored that God chose me to be their mother and with that honor I want to be faithful in teaching them truth and respect and dignity. Nick, Julia, Emma, and Sophia all have a different road in front of them... and I have NO idea what that looks like... but I do know that I want to be certain that the road their walking is on a firm foundation rooted in the truth of God's love and grace and that Chris and I are faithful in pointing them to Jesus.
Its so easy to get caught up in the hustle bustle of day to day life and not take a minute to appreciate the time we get to share with our family throughout that day to day life. I don't want to look back on my life and say : I ran my kids to practices, and school, and events with friends... but I lost track of who they were. These years are formative. The people who they will become is being determined in this day to day hustle bustle craziness. My challenge: to love my kids as much as I can every day because I don't want to have regrets. I'm human- and I'm learning as I go- like most people do- but not only do I want to know who my kids are- I want my kids to know who I am. I want them to know that I love them more than the breath that I breathe. I want them to know that I will fight for them. I want them to know that no matter what happens in life... I am ALWAYS going to love them. And I want them to know that I'm a mess but Jesus (and their daddy) chose to love me anyway.
For a lot of reasons, I wasn't sure that I'd ever be in the position that I am today: happy and content. But GRACE is the only reason that I am able to even have the opportunity to say that I AM happy and content. I've wasted enough of my life on unimportant junk... I am thrilled to spend the duration of my life loving my husband and our children.
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