faithfulness and confirmation...

When we made the decision to move back to Tennessee... we immediately started looking for the place that we would call our 'church home.' As we started researching, we found a church that seemed to be a great fit for us. The first Sunday we were here we took our family to Fellowship Bible. I'll admit that the church is a bit overwhelming coming in for the first time... an entire education building- two levels... then an enormous second building where the worship services take place. This church also has four services a week - one on Saturday night and three on Sunday morning with a total of over 3k in attendance. As we sat through the service the first time, we definitely felt the teaching was what we were looking for- expository style- verse by verse bible teaching. The worship was phenomenal- as you would expect being in Nashville- and the kids all enjoyed their classes. However, I left feeling very overwhelmed by the size of the church. How would this work? How do you ever get to know anyone? How can leadership minister to those in the body with SO many in the body? I've spent the last several weeks contemplating these questions. Now, I hadn't intended to go back to Fellowship until Chris was back here next week... but I just felt like I needed to go give it another shot... so, I did and God met me there this morning is a very real way. I cannot even begin to articulate how powerfully God moved in the service this morning. It wasn't quite so scary walking in this time, since I had somewhat of a feel for the flow of things... Worship started and was different from the last service, though I couldn't really put my finger on WHY it was different. This morning was also a time of sending out- as two new churches were being started and operating and the leaders who were going were prayed over. Encouraging to see a body that still believes in the Great Commission... Judea and Sumaria were only 20 minutes down the road- but God still called and sent. As the teacher for today got up and began to speak (there are three rotating teacher elders) the simpleness and sincerity of his message spoke to my heart. He wanted to express how powerfully God is working within the body there at Fellowship- and deliver a sort of "state of the church." But within his testimony of God's work on him and his heart- there was the presentation of God's work on the hearts of other believers at Fellowship. Story after story of God's faithfulness to sinners who loved Jesus. Story after story of grace and mercy- of patience and fulfillment. I found myself overcome with emotion. The truth is that the congregation of people I sat amongst- some 1200 people- became intimately close. We were all in a position of realizing how undeserving we are and how GREAT a GOD we serve- who despite our faithlessness... lavishes goodness upon us. A God who doesn't stray- even though we do... a God who pours out mercy and grace when we are in our furthest hour from Him. Overwhelmed. As the worship team came back to lead us in a few more songs-- I was so struck my God's mercy that I found myself overcome with thankfulness and praise... who am I that He chose to love me? I went from this question of 'how do we fit in among 3k believers in one building?' to a clear understanding and confirmation that this body in Brentwood, Tennessee is where God would have us in this season of our life. As we made our way out of the parking lot, I called Chris to share with him this confirmation- and still so overwhelmed I broke into tears, humbled by what the Lord allowed me to experience in that not so big building... with not so many hundreds of people... Our last few years have been usually difficult- laced with grief and pain and hurt- we've seen believers divided, families divided, and homes divided... and its left gaping wounds in our souls. But for the first time in longer than I can remember... I felt peace this morning and I believe that healing is beginning in our life. I am humbled by my meeting with Jesus today- and oh so thankful for His everlasting love and faithfulness.

The service this morning ended with this song... and when I searched I found this version done by a former classmate at TNU back in the early 90's. It felt appropriate to add his version...

Home

Its been a very long week. Seven full days since Chris went back to Maryland. Being mom and *trying* dad to four kids is exhausting... not to mention attempting to get myself re-enrolled into school which starts next week. I'm ready for my husband to come home. I take too much for granted when he's here- remind me of that in a few months.

Here's a song for you, Chris:

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onto the details of the week:

Nick had his first scrimmage game this past Friday night and I was extremely proud as I watched my son hold his own on the field. Best of all, the first thing he said to me when I picked him up after the game: "That was SO fun!" I made some phone calls and apparently he still isn't in the correct placement for his classes- they just received his school records and haven't done any assessments. However, tomorrow, he'll be pulled out for testing and should be placed where he will be best challenged. I'm sure he'll be thrilled about that. In the meantime, between school work and football, he was very little time of his own. I think that is good.

Julia started soccer today. This is the first time she has played soccer for an organized team but she is a natural. The coaches were very impressed with here ability already. They even made the effort to come over and tell me so. I have to chalk her soccer talent up to her daddy... he would be proud watching her.

I got Em signed up for dance classes for the year- which begin in a few weeks. I chose modern dance for her because there is room for artist interpretation... which I think will be great for her. She is really excited about finally being able to do something extra curricular on her own. I am excited for her too. I know she will have a blast.

Soph completed her first full week as a presschooler. So far- so good. I did get a note ONE day stating that she had some "minor" behavior- but she seemed to straighten that out by the end of the week. I started switching over some of her doctor's this week but I am still on the hunt for a pediatrician and private speech therapist and OT. We've also had some issues this past week with her having random allergic reactions to stuff- bugs, plants, etc. On two separate occasions, without knowing what caused it- she has had "stinging" types of reactions from both a plant and also bug bites- in which she develops hives. In both instances, her muscles respond and she starts trembling. Its actually pretty scary to watch. For that reason, I got a refill on the epipen which I'll be delivering to the school tomorrow- AND I am carrying her epipen with me everywhere at this point. I know change in environment and plants/bugs that go along with that are probably to blame- but I think we are to the point that we need to see an allergist and find out the extent of her reactions. The last thing I want to do is put her through that testing- but I think at this point- it may be necessary. Now all I need to do is find an allergist. Hmmm.....

So, I mentioned that I'm working on getting back to school this semester. I was going to take the semester off- but decided to just jump back into it. I'm not getting any younger. I have meetings/tests/registration multiple days this week at TNU... and then classes start next Tuesday- so, its going to be a hectic week for me.

Also, got good news a few days ago: mom got a job. It is downtown with a nonprofit organization (which she has experience with) and I think the job is going to be a good fit for her. She starts the day after labor day. She's excited- and we are excited for her- change is good when you embrace it.

One last note for tonight: Chris' uncle Dennis had a heart attack while on vacation in Myrtle Beach this week. He is diabetic and there are multiple other concerns/issues- but tomorrow he is going into surgery for triple bypass at 6am (EST). Please say a prayer for him, the doctors, and the family. We want him feeling better and back to himself as soon as possible.

The bumpy road...

I'm emotional today- actually, I have been for a few days. I could come up with a half dozen reasons why I've been so up and down but truly there is only one reason: Chris had to go back to Maryland today.

In November, Chris and I will have been together for fifteen years. A month later, in December, we'll celebrate fourteen years of marriage. We've had some better days, weeks, months, and years than others- but the past few years have been especially difficult. This afternoon as I was weeping in my husband's arms, it just reconfirmed to me that I'm where I want to be- with who I want to be with. All of the other crap in life just fades away in light of that one true realization. The unfortunate part is that in this new transition of our life together- as we are settling into a new home and community- he's not here with me- the way it SHOULD be. Chris keeps telling me 'one day at a time' which is exactly what we have to do to get through these next few months- but it is definitely more difficult than I thought it would be. So- I won't see him again in the month of August- he'll be back on September 1st for 11 or 12 days... and until then, I'll manage here... sad. I found this quote and thought how true it is... so, I thought I'd share... and just reiterate to my husband that I would choose him all over again.

One of the nicest things you can say to your partner, "If I had it to do
over again, I'd choose you. Again."
Unknown

Now here's a break in the thought process to update on the past few very busy days

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The kids all started school on Thursday- it was only a half day for the three older kids- and only a 1 hr orientation time for Soph. But, it went well and Friday was a typical day. I'll start with Nick.

Nick has decided to play football this year for the school team. Chris met with the coach and we got all of Nick's paperwork taken care of and he participated in his first practice at Sunset on Friday evening. Then Saturday morning and into the afternoon- he had a scrimmage game at an area school. So far- so good. He seems to enjoy it though he's pretty sore from the practice/game. I think all in all, this will be good for him... but it does make me nervous seeing him out there with kids twice his size coming at him. (Maybe he'll learn to run faster???)

Julia seems to really be enjoying her teacher and new school. But, I wouldn't expect less. Julia loves school. We also got Julia signed up for rec soccer and she had her evaluations on Saturday. Got the email today that teams have been chosen and her practices will start Saturday. I think this will be a great way for Julia to meet more girls her age and make new friends.

Emma is in the second grade. I still can't really believe that. Anyway, she is enjoying her class and has made a friend or two. Emma can be a bit chatty- and her sarcastic sense of humor isn't always understood by her peers- but I know she'll latch on to a friend or two and she'll do just fine. No sports for Em at this point- but I am looking into dance classes for her. If you are a local and have any suggestions- I'm all ears.

Sophia. Friday was tough... for me... and maybe her teacher. I got her to school and got her out of the truck and the teacher came over to get her. Soph was great until she realized that I wasn't coming along. :-( She yelled "mommy" and started crying and I sat for a few moments as she was carried toward the school with the teacher. I took a deep breath and drove into town to run a few errands. Chris and I picked her up at 11:30 and she was happy to see us. In her bookbag- we had the 'rundown' of the day on a piece of paper which told us how her day was- and did notate that she "protested :-)" So- I'm not sure for how long or to what degree (and maybe its best that way) but she started school and goes back again tomorrow. To be honest, I have HIGH hopes for my Sophia Hope and I'm looking forward to the progress she is going to make this year. I'm still not sure if I'm ready for all of this- but I am CERTAIN that she is.

Alright, I suppose I should head off to bed. 6:15am comes early- and goes nonstop until this time tomorrow night. Good night, all.

Settling In Still...

Well, we've been here for 11 days (and nights) now. Its crazy- some days it feels longer- and other days- it doesn't. But, in the past 11 days we have made some major progress on the house and getting everything unpacked and in its place. Curtains are hung, pictures are in place (for the most part), comforters are resting on their beds, and furniture has been arranged and rearranged. Today, we officially unpacked the garage enough to park both of our vehicles into the garage. With my big SUV, its a tight fit- but we'll make it work. So far, we love it. The size of the house is still tremendous for us. The kids love having their own space and we love having enough room to comfortably entertain. As of yesterday, the kids (except Sophie) were all officially registered for school- which starts on Thursday (YES, THIS Thursday). Tomorrow morning, Chris and I have a meeting at Sophie's school with the county representative for student services, the principle of the school, and Sophie's new pre-school teacher. This meeting will HOPEFULLY go over smoothly, however, we are having to transition services that Soph has been receiving in Maryland to Tennessee- and to make sure that all of her needs are adequately addressed. There are some technicalities that we need to work through with the school but we're hoping that everything goes easily. We'll know tomorrow when Soph will be officially able to start school- we're hoping Thursday or Friday- but we'll see.

Chris was able to drive down on Friday night and will be here with us through Sunday afternoon. I'm glad to have him home. It doesn't much feel like home with him not being here. He continues to plug away with his job coming to an end and has been given the opportunity to "work from home" here in Tennessee somewhat frequently so that he can be with us. I am grateful.

Since Chris was home on Sunday- we went to a new church in Brentwood, which is about 15 minutes from the house. The kids all really liked it. And I think we are going to go again this coming Sunday. So far, we like everything we know about the church- and we've done some pretty thorough research. I guess time will tell. Pray that we find the right place to worship for our family.

I updated SOME photos on Facebook with a new album of pics of our house. I'm missing a kitchen picture- but other than that, right now there are photos of the whole lower level. I'll upload a kitchen pic here shortly. Photos of the upstairs will follow at some point this week. Keep checking back. Here is a link to the album.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150252879106861.324097.677156860&type=1

So in short- so far so good. I'll update again in the next week with more details of the kids start of their new school and anything else that might be happening.

Settling In...

Well, we've just spent our third night in our new home- the first one with Chris not with us. I'm a bit heavy hearted with him not being here- I miss him desperately... and its only been 24 hours. Its going to be a long transition for us all.

The trip down here was long and exhausting starting with a 3am departure time from Maryland. Honestly, both Chris and I had trouble sleeping at all Friday night and so we both drove on little to no sleep. Its the first time I can remember having to really talk to myself during the drive to keep me from nodding off. Once we arrived, we had help here at the house waiting for us- so, we didn't get to rest. We spent the remainder of the day unloading our packed down truck and assembling furniture that we were going to need to sleep on that night. We didn't get into bed until about 11pm and we all crashed hard. Exhaustion is an understatement. However, it became very surreal- being in our new house- a house that was/is big enough for us all to fit without invading each others space. This was what we've been planning for and looking forward to for 9 months now... and here we are. I'll be honest, there were MANY days that I wondered if that was ever going to happen. Were we ever going to make it to Tennessee??? But, here we are... settling in.

I got the kids all registered for school yesterday- with the exception of Sophia (because her registration is more involved and I"m waiting on a call back from the early intervention office in our county). On Friday morning, Nick will go to a new student orientation from 9-12pm for an opportunity to walk through his new school and get to know where he's going before he shows up next Thursday. I'm glad they have this orientation set up and that we are here for him to participate... its intimidating walking into a new school... but I KNOW he will do great.

Last night, our next door neighbor brought us dinner. I was touched that they would offer and then even more thankful when I didn't have to worry about preparing anything while unpacking and straightening up. Our experience in this neighborhood so far has been great. The kids have children their age to play with (the downside is its 110 degrees outside so no one wants to play outside during the day)- and have already begun making friends. One of the major concerns we had moving was Sophie. She is so structured and regimented that anytime you mess with her schedule, she really has a hard time adjusting. Surprisingly enough, that has NOT been the case so far with Soph. She loves the new house- she runs around, makes herself comfortable and has plenty of space of enjoy. We are certain as we watch her that moving into this house was the best fit for our family. I'm looking forward to getting everyone adjusted into a schedule as school starts next week.

Well, I suppose that's it for now- I'll try to update in a few days- WITH pictures. Right now, the downstairs is looking more under control- but the upstairs is still filled to the brim with boxes... and have I mentioned the garage is full of boxes too. I know everyone is curious to see the house- so, I'll do my best to get it up soon.