Eyes wide shut....

Chris says my musical taste is "sketch." I'll be the first to admit that my choices in music are eclectic. For me, music is less about the genre and more about the message behind the instrument- the guts of the song are what draws me in. On any given day I could switch between Evanescence to Rascal Flatts and then back to Guns n Roses. The truth is: music is in me. I enjoy it all. And so with that in mind, I'll begin my blog.

In my humble opinion- Damien Rice may be the most genius song writer of modern times. I realize that is a strong statement and I don't take it lightly. I'll mention that I find the rawness and sincerity of his lyrics to be breathtaking. Most days, regardless of my mood, Damien Rice shares my day. My favorite song of his is called "Accidental Babies"--- I know, I know... sketch. But if you have a minute-or five- listen to the link I attached. Honestly, if you can listen to this song and not feel anything- I question if you have a heart.

Along those lines- I heard a song of Rice's for the first time this past week- and I found myself even further drawn into the quirkiness of his lyrics and the brilliance of his delivery. The song is called "Eskimo." Interestingly enough- the song is said to be about his bought with writers block and the inspiration he received from a friend. I can say as a song writer: I've been there. Its interesting to me the "spells" we go through in life. Time periods of joy and happiness- blindness and falling in love- contentment and dreaming that lead to pain and fear- clarity and resentment- frustration and failure. Even more interesting to me is the way that as a writer- those times of extremes breed some of the most beautiful raw emotional sincere truths about ourselves that others are able to relate to on similar levels when we put it down in song form. We think we're all alone out there- no one understands. We believe that we live isolated from the sympathies of others who have/are living similar lives to our own. I don't know that I'll ever really understand how we trick ourselves into believing we're alone. Thankfully, for me, music gives me hope. Honest songs help me realize I'm not alone. Love songs help me have hope for happier times. And music drives me toward life- LIVING life not existing in it. Take a listen to sheer brilliance: Eskimo.

good night sweetheart well its time to go....

In August 2000, Chris, Nick and me made our way north- to Maryland. We really had no idea what the future held for us- but all we knew was that we wanted to be around family. So, we left High Point, NC and we've spent over a decade in Maryland. I'll be the first to admit, the first few years for me were a rough adjustment. I wasn't used to the snow or the 8 months of winter or the insanely congested way of life. I remember when we first moved here thinking we would NEVER be able to afford a home of our own. Now, fast forward 10 years and we're almost 7 years into our second home. I've loved Maryland. I've loved the 'realness' of the residents, the aggressiveness of the driving, and the terrain of the countryside. However, a decade plus into our plan for our life here in the Mid Atlantic... and things have changed a lot. In 2002, we had Julia. I love her. She's made life an adventure. She's brave and smart and soft hearted. In late 2003, along came Emma. She's funny- and adorable- and quick witted. And very much to our surprise (due to sterilization surgery in 2004 and our plans to not have anymore children)--- along came Sophia in 2008. Our journey with Sophia has been battled and hard and exhausting- but in Dec. 2010- she legally became ours. So, now, here we are with four children--- and us.

I'd be lying if I said that life is how I expected it would be... over 13 years into our marriage. The term "life happened" is all too real a reality to us here under this roof. Chris finished his degree--- THANK GOD! and we had a family--- THANK YOU, GOD!---- and now, we have been placed in a spot in life where we have a road with two forks--- and we had a decision to make. We've loved our time here and we love our family here. We've valued every get together, party, event, and holiday that we've had the opportunity to participate in due to our geographical location. However, we've come to a point where we know and believe that change is what will best suit our family of six. Its not an easy decision- we're leaving behind dear loved ones and very close friends- we're leaving behind a home that we've built together and a life that we've created in 21014. However, for the overall happiness and strength of our family- we KNOW that the time has come to move south. We found a home. We placed a contract- and our dream home is being constructed. The floor plans, the wall colors, the cabinet texture, and the landscaping design are all our choice- but the bottom line has nothing to do with the structure that we are moving into. The bottom line is that: its time to make a choice in the fork in the road. I'm thankful that Chris and I land on the same side. I'm more thankful that the side we chose also has family waiting at its end. The transition won't be easy- but its what we believe is best. In the meantime, we are trusting that our home here in 21014 will be sold in time for our departure to 37135. I'll leave with this- a poem I was forced to memorize in the 11th grade- but now that I'm 32, i'm glad I still remember it:

The Road Less Traveled:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost